This evening, I was baking cakes (it has to be plural as my success rate in the baking department is highly variable. Tonight it was mercifully two out of three), jiggling around wearing an apron to some favourite music and realised that I was feeling something I perhaps hadn't felt massively for a while when on my own:
Happy.
Content.
Not sad.
Not scared.
Not anxious.
Not regretful.
Not guilty.
Not remorseful.
Just pleasantly chilled and covered in flour.
When I am with my little girl, I am generally fine. It is when she goes to bed, that the thoughts come tumbling out one by one ambushing me until I feel like keeling over with the weight of it all. Everything becomes mammoth, everything becomes my fault. My strength drains away and I have no will. But tonight, I feel light. Light and fluffy and hopefully the cakes in the oven!
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| Hedgehog comes for a day out |
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| Definitely NOT afraid of the big bad (stuffed) wolf |
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| "Helping" sorting out for the Tiny Lives sale fundraiser for our NICU |
Oh so happy for you! What a lovely post and lovely photos! Wriggles is ever so cute especially sat in that box!
ReplyDeleteHappy Baking! Be it made you happy to eat your hard work too! Flour covered happiness is one of the best kinds! X
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