Sunday, July 8

First Shoes

I may be mad following this weeks trouble with shoes, but on Friday we ticked off an exciting milestone.

I had no real intention of making the purchase, but after advice from our physio that Wriggles' feet and legs really need some support to help her standing as she is all over the place, I thought it would be wise at least to get her feet measured. Her feet, like the rest of her, look so dainty that I fully expected she would not fit any of the styles of Cruisers let alone First Walkers. So you could have knocked me off my chair when the foot gauge revealed she was a size 3F!

I was pleasantly surprised by just how good the customer service was in Clarks. It was nearing the end of the day, Wriggles was in a "don't-you-dare-touch-my-feet" mood and I was very nearly going to call it a day and come back when she was more full of energy and likely to enjoy it (if that is ever possible when you hate your feet being touched). But the two ladies persevered in cheering her up by showing her sparkly shoes, flashing trainers and asking to be introduced to Charlie Mouse who had come for the journey. After some impressive persuasion, the little pink shoes were fitted and I decided to just bite the bullet and supply the credit card necessary. We got a photograph, heigh chart and certificate for our troubles. Oh yes, and some New Shoes.

I reckon such a statement of growing up is exciting to any parents for their children, but it left a big impression of me. Such wonderful-yet-to-be-expected milestones seem that little bit more precious after Wriggles' difficult journey, and after the continuing physio and support we have had surrounding her delayed gross motor skills, it was is a pleasant surprise and sheer joy and delight that I see her progressing and with the footwear to match as a badge of honour. 

Back in NICU, "first shoes" never crossed my mind. At that point I did not know if she would ever even be capable of walking as she grew up. My mind lived in the moment; thoughts of the future and the excitement to come were written off simply because of the fear that at the last hurdle they might be cruelly denied. I didn't dream of first birthday cakes, silly jokes or first shoes, I dreamt of my baby in my arms and that one day she would recognise me. Even now, when we are 'out of the woods' and safe at home, growing and exploring new things every day, I don't think a day passes without me thinking back to the difficult start. It is forever imprinted on my mind and I fear sometimes that I don't allow myself enough to become carried away with the freedom of being in the now Good moments and letting myself trust. Even the best times, when we laugh with abandon and Wriggles screeches with laughter and I drink her in, every last little tiny bit that I must memorise forever and ever, after the moment I think back. I am grateful we are now here and there, still sorrowful for being there and in a heartbeat guilty for not being able to let go and forget. But today, was a day of New Shoes. A sign of how far we have come. Nearly two years ago, I could have lost my baby. But I didn't and she has the prettiest, pinkest cruisers to prove it.

Test Driving the New Shoes (did I mention she has New Shoes?!)