Thursday, July 12


Always, always, always I am proud of Wriggles.

Proud of what she has achieved.

Proud of what she will achieve.

Proud of how far she has come.

Proud of what a delight she is (tantrums excluded) and how she charms the pants off anyone and puts a smile on the face of strangers.

But sometimes, although I am proud I am also sad.

Not disappointed, but sad. There is a huge difference between the two.

Sometimes I look at other children, and whilst I do not compare, I do notice. Notice that those younger are taking steps, forming forms, wobbling around whilst my older girl crawls around blissfully. And sometimes I feel angry or upset or frustrated that anyone should have a complicated journey, that any innocent child should have to be on a different path, that any family should have a challenging journey.

It's character building, they said. Challenges make us stronger and us who we are. 

Sometimes I believe it and sometimes I think it is bollocks.

Sometimes I want to know what the future holds and sometimes I am scared. Sometimes I am furious at the universe for giving my beautiful girl such a mixed bag when other (less nice, obviously) children get such an easy ride. To them, the terms I know and hear and think about every day are either those of ignorance or simply intellectual. To me, they are part of my child.

Sometimes I wonder if I had done anything any differently if we would have had the complications we did and still live with.

Sometimes I wish I could just take Wriggles had and run off into the sunset, away from doctors, from clinic, from observations, from reports, and just be the two of us alone.


  1. Great post as ever.I agree,its hard not too think like this x

  2. I think your character is just wonderful and has probably had quite enough of being built for a while! Xxx