*as inspired/thieved from Diary of a Premmy Mum and Mummy Pink wellies without the cool pictures.
Ouch. Something has happened. Something dreadful. My foot hurts. Oh-it's stuck in the cot bars. That must be why. Actually so is my other one. How an earth did they get there? Hang on....I'm sure I went to sleep the other way around. And facing the other way. And my blanket has jumped underneath me. Stupid blanket. MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Rescued. Still in my cot the right way round. Muuuuuuuuuum. I'm still awake even if my feet are somewhere more sensible. Mummmmmm. What do you mean you're tired still?!
"The marvellous mechanical Mouse Orchestra! We will find it we wil bind it....." Ooooh it's the singing Bagpuss Mouse toy!!
8:07 and a bit am
"The marvellous mechanical Mouse Orchestra! We will find it we wil bind it....." Ooooh it's the singing Bagpuss Mouse toy again!!
MUUUUM. Breakfast! Mummmmmmm! MUM MUM MuM. Oh blast I'm stuck again.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee I'm flying. Oh wait. Hang on, it's you. Well about time Mummy! Is it breakfast now? Right now? Where is breakfast? Where where where? I'm hungry. Oh you're so unfair putting the kettle on for YOU. Oh it's for me and my bottle. Yum yum yum yum yum. Forgiven? What? Who? Just give me the milk. Slurp slurp slurp.
No I do not want the toast. That is your stupid breakfast. Unless I can rip it up and put it in the sofa? Ooooh nice hot mug. Can I have that?
You aren't going to believe it but there are two of me. Look, one is in that shiny thing. Hello! Helllo!!!! Hello!!! Another baby! And Me #2 has got a cheese-and-mouse-you too. Good taste.
I could have sworn I had a mummy but she seems to have disappeared. The bathroom is making a very loud noise. Bored. MUUUUUM. Oh there you are. Are we playing the hairdryer game? Nice noisy hairdryer! Ooooh oohooh it tickles!
Just because you want to get dressed I see no reason why that means I should too. Get off get off get off. Ooh hello toes. Can I put them in my nappy, please? You're no fun, mummy. I want to play with my toes. Oh a sock. Hello sock!
Maybe clothes aren't so bad after all. Hmm that mug looks like a good game. Look how good I am at reaching over veeerrrrryyyy cunningly.........why am I face down on the carpet? Where is the mug? Can we read books? Mummy is quite strange. And very slow. She reads them very slowly with words. Picture books are called picture books for a reason, mummy. She just doesn't get it.
I think it is time for Elevenses and a very small cat nap....of precisely thirteen seconds. I'm awake!!!
Attack! I'm being attacked! Something bright pink has swooped down on me and swallowed up one of my arms. Haahaa fooled you, I've got my arm back. Oh it's trying again. The unfairness! Now it's going for the other one! Well, tough luck 'cos I've just freed my first arm. Again?! Really? stupid coat. Hmpppph.
Apparently "we're late". This means we have to walk in the pushchair at break-neck speed along the road. Wheeeee I like racing! Vrrrroooom a car! Eek it's a bit chilly. Maybe I should have let the mittens win after all.
Hooray now I remember! Tuesdays are Jo Jingles days. Babies! Hello fellow comrades! Oh hello someone's granny. Yes, I am adorable. Is it time to meet Jo yet? I wonder what is under this here red rug? Oooh hello....
I might let the coat win just this once as I have been allowed to pull all of the contents out of mummy's handbag and I poked a little boy in the eye. He pulled my hair and stole my rattle; I think it might be true love.
Are we going to the coffee shop? I only eat lunch in coffee shops**.
Can I have a coffee too?
And your biscuit?
Mmmmmmmmm full of milk and a little bit of mushed mango and mummy's biscuit crumbs......quite sleepy now......ooh a traffic light!!
Back home. Can I have a top-up slurp and then I might go to - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM I'm stuck in the cot bars again!
Is it time for more milk? I think so. Yum yum yum. Oooh the mug is back again. Ouch. I appear to be stuck in the carpet once more. Memo to self: must work on balancing.
Come on mummy, I want to look at this and this and this and this and this and mouse and this and hedgehog and ooooh tasty hedegehog nose and this and this and it makes a sound and this and this and this and look I'm on all fours! Why aren't I moving?
I appear to have become wedged halfway underneath the sofa. Maybe that explains why people move forwards not shuffle backwards. Might adopt change of tack in attempts at movement.
My friend Gemma has come round! I hope all friends don't make you do leg stretches and set you tasks and make you put all your limbs in funny places. It is very tiring. But she does have a really good bag of toys and even better has a set of official looking cards hung around her neck. Now that is a good friend.
I want a cuddle. I'm tired. My legs feel wobbly. I'm tired. Mmmmmm nice mummy cuddles. Can we look at all the pictures of me on the fridge? Thank you mummy. Hello me! That's better. I like looking at my baby pictures. Did you know it is clinically proven to ward off grumpy symptons and appease tantrums?*** It is just about as good as being turned upside down or doing the hokey cokey. Mwhahahah I don't know what mummy is going to do when I am a Big Girl with Stroppy Fits in public. No fridges or room to swing me by ankles then!****
I DO NOT WANT ANY TEA. WE ARE NOT IN A COFFEE SHOP.
GET IT AWAY.
GET IT AWAY.
GET IT AWAY!
Is it time for Abney and Teal?
Get that spoon away from me. I can see you, mummy.
I can still see you. It's not going to work.
Can I have your dinner? But only if it is turned upside down on the carpet. Haha fooled you. We've been over this before, I am NOT eating anything.
It's not FAIR. Luckily I have been learning about the art of practise tantrums from my new friend Elodie and have been showing my mummy how much I intensely dislike being taken out the bath. I don't think she is very impressed.
Mmmmm nice snuggly jimjams. As it is winter in the frozen North I have special fleece sleepsuits to keep me warm as I am an expert at kicking my blankets off. I suspect this is a genetic flaw as when mummy wakes up her bed is half on the floor and half nibbling her up. Nice snuggle bedtime hugs too and kisses. I will do my nice goldfish impersonation now before ny bedtime milk. Guzzle guzzle.
See you in the morni--zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
**this genuinely is true. Alas. Or pubs. Since the middle of December, Wriggles has only eaten solids in public if there is a whizzy coffee machine nearby. Is there a medical condition which generates such symptoms? (other than Impending Toddleritus)
***this is a bit of a fib, but I am not letting on to Wriggles****this is nowhere near as dangerous as it sounds