Water Play

This week I have found really hard, what with colds, an unwanted trip to hospital, mention again of fundoplication surgery which I am really not keen on, an increase in physio as Wriggles' muscle tone is playing up and her legs are getting more exaggerated which is not a good thing for inducing mobility and lashings of torrential rain. This afternoon, our friends came round which was a very welcome bit of socialisation with no medical strings attached and really helped to clear the metaphorical clouds looming above my head! Trying to keep on the good track this afternoon, I decided it was high time we tried out Wriggles' birthday present: a water table.

I found choosing presents quite hard for her second birthday; things that would fit in my small flat, things she would enjoy, things that would push her, things that wouldn't drive me off a cliff...things I could afford! She loves messy play and is a complete water baby, and in the absence of swimming while her stoma site heals, playing at the sink is the next best thing. Or better, a table on the floor with less scope to slip over. Also it challenged her legs as it was a perfect incentive to stay standing and bearing (some) weight.

We chucked in all the bath toys, some stacking cups with holes in, a stray ball from a ball pit, a nice pouring cup and filled up the sides. I tried to have one side with strongly scented bubbles and the other plain water with a bit of glitter ("DAAAAARRRRS!") which of course got mixed up in about five seconds flat.

 And then let her loose!

It was really therapeutic playing with the water, but mostly seeing how much fun she was having. My floor got an impromptu thorough wash, which to be honest is probably no bad thing. We poured, splashed, shouted, sang and had a whale of a time. Just what the doctor ordered.

Muuuum, I am NOT doing your washing up for you!

Sink

 When having a slightly troublesome afternoon...

Fill the sink with warm water and add colouring of your choice and bubbles...

...let small child loose with cup and rubber duck....

...join in shouting "SPLASH!" at appropriate moments. Be as loud as your neighbours permit you.

Let the sun do the mopping up.

17:53

Ways to keep your sanity and temper and keep your child amused and cheerful at teatimes*

17:53

Both offered favourite yoghurt and also selection of finger foods were declined and lobbed over the side in manner of drunk vandal. Milk was fussed about and frustration was rising as time dragged on. Poor Toby-dog on Abney and Teale was getting very ignored.

Cue impromptu messy play.

Add some mixed spice for a nice smell and some pink sugar for texture

Chuck in some mini marshmallows and macaroni for good luck. Hell, why not add an owl shaped stale biscuit. It's not going to get eaten!

Thank goodness. Is that...can it be....just maybe....a...smile?

*not foolproof in the slightest

Tears

6:18pm

It's teatime and there are tears. 

This isn't unusual. Wriggles' aversion to feeding has often distressed her to the point of tears in the past. I have long learnt that if this reaction is even hinted at, to chalk it up to experience and leave it for another go later. Somethings are just not worth it if that are that bad.

What is unusual is that today the tears are from me: I am crying.

But not from frustration.

Wriggles has just put a vegetable finger to her mouth.

No wait, she has put it in her mouth.

And...

I hold my breath, almost too hesitant to get my hopes up.

...bitten, chewed and swallowed! 

Tentatively, over about an half an hour, she returned again and again to nibble away at the vegetable finger. What was even more incredible than this* was the fact that when she couldn't cope with a texture, like a whole piece of sweetcorn, rather than gag and vomit like she has always done, she moved it around her mouth until she could spit it out. I was amazed at this sudden leap in process than I have been waiting for for what is now over a year. To actually willingly handle food, put it to her face, try some, repeatedly try it and use her oral motor skills to break it down... it is so simple and what we take for granted, but it is such PROGRESS and even thinking about it now brings a lump of pride to my throat. 

The past year has been a rollercoaster and has taught me a lot in patience and acceptance and I must admit, there were times like in recurrent weeks whereby she would not even go near food, where I fear it would never happen and we would succumb to tube feeding. I have a small section of baby and children books on my bookshelf that have taunted me with their weaning guides and food ideas. Before Wriggles came home and long before weaning, I devoured them soaking up ideas and formulating my own plans. I talked to the neonatal nurses about weaning premature babies and read the Bliss literature. I couldn't wait and had a box of food items and accessories before she even reached term. I did not forsee  a fraught period whereby she wouldn't even entertain being near food or touch cutlery; I didn't know the work that would be to break down her fear or distate for the sensory textures. Slowly, we have introduced milestone after milestone and now, a taste and management of "real food" is the icing on a cake. I'm not expecting miracles; it might not even be the beginning of the end of this time, but I am so pleased for her.

 I am so proud of my clever baby girl.

"What's all the fuss?"

*if you have never read anything here before, Wriggles has struggled with oral aversion and building up trust never mind a variety has been a very long slow process. In over a year, we are now at an albeit limited, "stage two" of the weaning process!

21/52

 

Frustration

Generally, I have made my peace with oral aversion and it's place in our lives. I have accepted that we are in for the long haul and that one day some years down the line, I will look back with relief and wonder how myself and Wriggles kept our sanity in tact. I understand that there is no magic cure or divine intervention, no magical point where suddenly it is gone. And then, there are the increasingly rare days like today where I want to wail and stamp my feet and scream that it's not fair and got and hide in a huff. I hate feeling cross with something I have no control over and something I don't want to show Wriggles that it affects me, lest I make it worse. I save my frustration for nap times and bed times and cross walks home, where I can breathe and seethe. I'm not annoyed at my daughter, I'm annoyed at the universe and that some people will have to struggle while others don't. I hate that I get annoyed and snappy with people I care about who try and make helpful suggestions, that have long been tried. Very few people understand that it's not that we haven't hit on the perfect way of eating or the perfect food, but that the problem is the entire process itself. It is part behavioural, part sensory and part psychological; and all in an essentially very young child who is not equipped to deal with reason.

10/52 Wriggles 1-Oral Aversion 0